A Lack of Muscle Behind "No"

   Can anything lessons be learned from movies?  In a scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Ian is sitting at the table with his future family as wedding plans are discussed. The following exchange occurs between him and Maria, his future mother - in- law:
   "Ian, are you hungry?"
   "Ugh, no, I already ate."
   "Ok, I make you something."
   "Ok."
     After Maria sets a hot bowl of food on the table, she turns her back, not realizing that Ian burned himself. When she faces Ian again, she directs, "Ian, eat, eat!" Ian then asks his future brother -in-law, "How do you say thank you in Greek?"
We may notice cultural differences, hospitality, and good intentions in this movie scene, but do we notice any negative ocurrances of social conditioning? Ian's answer to whether or not he's hungry is disregarded. The question seems to be asked not out of concern, but as an announcement as to what Maria will do, (feed him). Ian's facial expression may convey frustration, but he verbally accepts. He expresses a desire to thank Maria in her native language, (for food he didn't ask to receive).
   Thus far, we've been focusing on a movie scene with adult characters. But, what happens when the aforementioned scene exists in real life and is taught to some children as proper behavior? Again, good intentions aside, should children be made to accommodate adults in the name of social conditioning or faux politeness?  Manners may be instilled, but do they take precedence over a lack of social boundaries? When constantly taught that "no" means "yes," what effect do mixed messages have on children?
   Can I accurately predict these children's  behavior, fifteen years later, once they've left their main spheres of influence? No. I  am not an expert, and hopefully many other factors will influence these new adults' decisions. Do I, however, believe that it's a good idea to teach and renforce one, inflexible, social script? Again, no. Pushy but well meaning Aunt Bonnie does not have the same agenda as pushy, First Date Bob, who already ordered Jane the drink that she had just refused. Will prim and proper Jane, who's accustomed to people slicing through her expressions of "no," suddenly gain enough assertiveness to physically remove herself from an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation?